Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
