i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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