don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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