i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
