god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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