Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
