I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
