No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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