Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize