i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
