New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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