I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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