Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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