i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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