Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
