So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize