i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
