I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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