Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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