I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
