Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
