and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
