some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
