I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
