question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
