Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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