Soap is not a condiment
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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