I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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