marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
