so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
