try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
