yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
