And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
