He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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