dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
