its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
