Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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