you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
