you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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