What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
