we're blogging at a bar
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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