my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Are my feet made of real feet?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
