But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
