i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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