i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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