I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
