Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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