No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
