i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
