There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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