You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
