I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
