i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
3 2 1 whiskey
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
