Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
