Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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