Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
