why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
