Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize