Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
