He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
