When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
