I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize