im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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