Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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