From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
