Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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