My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This house was built for laser tag.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
