dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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