Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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