She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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