Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You pole danced in your parka.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
