its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I need to calm my uterus...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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