haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
