Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
