I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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