Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
