Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize