I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
