with your own penis?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
