This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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