walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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