I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
