I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We got so high we made milksteak
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize