I've blown a few things in my day
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize