I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
