if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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